The Real Shinji Ikari
by GoryParatrooper
Summary: Eminem got spoofed by Shinji? Best believe it. He gets revenge on everyone in the series. R&R to see mroe by me!


A/n: This is my first Eminem parody. This will be followed by D12's Nasty Mind. So, without further ado, the music video.  
  
RuneKnightPictures Proudly Presents:   
  
The Real Shinji Ikari  
  
Misato:  
  
May I have your attention please?  
  
May I have your attention please?  
  
Will the real Shinji Ikari pilot please stand up  
  
I repeat, will the real Shinji Ikari please stand up  
  
We're gonna have a problem here...  
  
Shinji:  
  
Ya'll act you never seen an Evangelion pilot before  
  
Drawers all on the floor like Touji, like Kensuke had to tell me something  
  
And started whoopin his ass 'cause I don't care about Evas  
  
We first were friends, then he got killed in Third Impact  
  
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,  
  
His Eva didn't eat what I think it did, did it?"  
  
And Kaouru said...Nothing you idiots!  
  
Kaouru's dead, the Eva crushed him  
  
Rei clones love Gendou... (turntable. Chicka chicka chicka)  
  
"Shinji Ikari, I'm sick of him  
  
`Look at him, cowering in the corner  
  
Hiding from everyone," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."  
  
Yeah, I probably am a coward  
  
But no worse, than what's going on in Misato's bedroom  
  
Sometimes, I want to go into Asuka's bedroom and let loose, but can't  
  
But it's cool for me to go berserk  
  
"I'm kissing you, I'm kissing you."  
  
And if I'm lucky, you might just let me breathe  
  
And that's the message I deliver to NERV  
  
And expect them not to know what a Sea of Dirac is  
  
Of course they gonna know what an Angel is  
  
By the time they get their paychecks  
  
They've read the Dead Sea Scrolls  
  
"We ain't nothing but Lilim..." Well some of us Angels  
  
Who want to turn us into LCL  
  
But if we can make Rei clones  
  
Then there's no reason a man and an Angel can't elope (EWWWW!)  
  
But if you feel like I'm feeling, I got the antidote  
  
Misato wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes  
  
Chorus: Shinji x2  
  
I'm Shinji Ikari, yes I'm the real Shinji Ikari  
  
All you other bakas are just imitating  
  
So won't the real Shinji Ikari please stand up  
  
Please stand up, please stand up...  
  
Shinji:  
  
Kensuke doesn't have to pilot Eva  
  
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!  
  
You think I give a damn about Kaoru?  
  
Asuka can't even stomach me, let alone stand me  
  
The only difference is I got the balls to pilot Eva  
  
"But if Shinji, what if the Angels all die, wouldn't it be good?"  
  
Why? So gay guys can say they love me?  
  
So you can, sit me here next to Gendou?  
  
Shit, Rei better switch me chairs  
  
So I can sit next to Asuka and Misato  
  
And hear 'em argue over who loves Kaji  
  
You little bitch, stick me in an Eva  
  
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's the savior of the world, Hee-hee!"  
  
I should download Asuka's voice on my SDAT   
  
And show the whole world how you kissed Shinji (AHHH!!)  
  
I'm sick of you little gay Angels, all you do is try to kill me  
  
So I have been chosen to destroy you (Bzzzzt!)  
  
And there's a million kids out there who watch me  
  
Who dress in plugsuits, cower, talk, and act like me  
  
And just might be the next best thing but passes like me  
  
Chorus x2  
  
Shinji:  
  
I'm like a little girl to listen to, 'cause I'm only giving you  
  
Things you watch with your friends in your living room  
  
The only difference is I don't got the balls to say it  
  
In front of you all and I got to be false and sugarcoated  
  
I just get in the Eva and do the job  
  
And whether you like to admit it (ERR!) I just shit it  
  
Better than ninety percent of you pilots out there  
  
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these episodes like my cooking  
  
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty  
  
I'll be the only person at NERV who's a virgin  
  
Grabbin Rei's tits while I'm jerking off to Asuka  
  
And I'm jerking but Asuka comes in and quirks and beats me  
  
And I'm a Shinji Ikari lurkin  
  
I could be working at Burger King, getting panic attacks  
  
(HACH!) Or in the Eva crying  
  
Screaming, "No Father!"  
  
With my Eva getting strangled, and the Dummy Plug working  
  
So, will the real Shinji Ikari please stand up  
  
And get in the damn Evangelion at this moment  
  
And be proud to be a coward and totally perverted  
  
And one more time, loud as you can, Rei how does it go!  
  
Chorus x2  
  
Shinji:  
  
Ha ha  
  
Geuss I'm the only Shinji Ikari  
  
Fuck it, I'll stand up  
  
Rune: And that's a rap. What ya'll be thinking. Shinji just bashed everyone in the series. R&R to see the cast do D12's Nasty Mind. 


End file.
